A little life, a precious pearl growing within my womb Maybe a son? Maybe a daughter? Can't wait till I see it bloom- I have a name for you little one I picked it with thought and care I saw you with love and tenderness and saw that you were so fair I knew you would be a special child and I had special plans in view if you were a girl, a sweet one you'd be if a son you'd be strong and true I held you and kissed your soft little face in daydreams I'd rock you and sing of angels in heaven, and Jesus love and all of earths sweetest things I bought you some little items you'd need and planned you a cozy room And oh the joy to think of the years I had to watch you bloom I could hardly wait till I felt you flutter and turning with a swirl And day by day my heart filled with love for my little precious pearl But God chose to have you blooming for him in the beauty of heavens land And your mother is holding you, in her heart as though she were holding your hand! ~By Elizabeth Ann
I believe I have come to terms with my loss and have peace about it. I had to remember that it is not about me, but about God and glorifying HIM and letting HIM have his way no matter what that means. I cannot let my emotions get in the way of that purpose. I gave me heart and life to God and I have never regretted that and will never regret that. He is such a good and righteous Father and though I may not understand, I can trust him- FAITH, HOPE and LOVE- not faith in this world but in GOD, Not hope for the things of this world, but for RIGHTEOUSNESS and PURITY and HEAVEN! Not love for just anything but the LOVE of GOD shed abroad in our hearts. I wouldn't take my baby back even if I could because I KNOW he is in the loving beautiful arms of Jesus and is much better off than with me. And if God saw fit to form in me a little soul for just a few weeks, then praise God forever! I was BEAUTIFULLY pregnant and I would never change that for anything! I LOVE GOD so very much and know that His way IS perfect!!!
"the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD." Job 1:21
My little pearl sprouted wings and flew into the arms of Jesus. What a glorious life-from the womb to the arms of Jesus- to never have to know the sorrows, sin, and heartache of this world. What a blessing!
The Baby is in the middle in the black center. The yoke sack is the round black tinier circle and the baby is the white area attached to it.
I had my initial OBG appointment today and the baby looks good so far. Praise God! When they first looked for it they couldn't get a picture. I thought, "I knew it. FALSE pregnancy! She's gonna tell me there is no baby and you are having a false pregnancy syndrome. But they altered the procedure and got a picture. And OH FOR JOY. Its little heart was beating!!! I will go in two weeks for another picture because it is so early right now.
Saturday afternoon I grabbed a cheap pregnancy test while I was out shopping. It couldn't possibly be that I was pregnant at 41 after nine years of thinking I was no longer able to conceive. But, I had not had a period in almost two months and didn't feel one coming on, so maybe I should just make sure. I hid the test in my purse and when all was clear I crept quietly into the back bathroom to run the test. As I fumbled to open the box I said to myself, "this is so stupid. You are not pregnant." But I had bought the test. I might as well take it. I had an instant positive result. I didn't believe it. I rechecked what the positive result should look like. It was true. I was pregnant! I began to tremble and hit my knees right there beside the bathroom sink. "O my Lord," I prayed, "O My Lord, could it be? Could it really be? O, thank you my God, thank you! Thank you! That you would look upon me in such a way. That you would see fit to bless me so at this age in my life. O My God..." I was beside myself. It was as if a husband loved his wife so much that he thought and thought of the most beautiful gift he could give her and came and presented it to her as a surprise. It was like the Lord said, "Here is a present, just for you! Just because I love you!" I thanked Him over and over throughout the day, and I am still praising him and thanking him. Sometimes I cry for the joy of it all, that he could be so good to me. I am in awe and wonder!